7 Effective Ways Happy People Think

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.”
―Mahatma Gandhi

Believe it or not, I’ve read 27 personal development books specifically on the topic of happiness over the last few years.  (Yeah, I suppose that makes me a bit of a happiness junkie.)  Throughout my reading, one of the sub-topics that kept catching my attention is how our thoughts directly influence our satisfaction and effectiveness in life.

Today I want to honor and discuss seven ways I’ve changed my thinking, based on the principles I’ve read about, that has undoubtedly made me a happier person.

1.  Feeling privileged and satisfied to be alive.

If you’re reading this, congratulations, you’re ALIVE!  And if you can’t find a reason to smile about that, you’ll have an awfully tough time finding a better reason to do so.

Time spent living is time worth appreciating.  You are able to see the sunrise and the sunset.  You are able to hear birds sing and waves crash.  You can walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.  When you make the most out of what you have it turns out being a lot more than you ever imagined.

A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset.  When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy.  Breathe onto the bathroom mirror, just to see how amazing your breath looks.  The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one.  (Read Zen and the Art of Happiness.)

2.  Believing in the possibility of a better tomorrow.

What you believe determines who you become.  If the thoughts running through your mind are pure, positive and empowering, you will create positive and empowering beliefs about yourself and about life.  In turn, your actions, habits and daily routines will be a reflection of these thoughts and beliefs.

Sometimes you may catch yourself and wonder why you haven’t dropped all your positive ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to achieve.  Yet you must keep them, because deep down, in spite of everything, you believe that people are still good at heart and that life still contains a touch of magic.

You have to believe that hope is stronger than fear.  That imagination is more influential than public opinion.  That dreams are more powerful than today’s reality.  That determination always triumphs over experience.  That laughter is the best cure for grief.  And above all, you have to believe that love is stronger than any negative force in the world.

3.  Knowing deep down that every step is worth it.

Through every life experience, especially those that force you to look fear and adversity in the face, you will gain strength, courage and confidence.  Stop when you must, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I am living through this and I am still OK.  I can take the next thing that comes my way.”

Make a pact with yourself and do the thing you once thought you couldn’t do.  Take another step, even when you feel too worn out or tired.  Find a reason to laugh, even when you’re trying not to cry.  Trust yourself, even when your mind second-guesses your heart.  Dance, even when others refuse to hear the music.  Dream, even if you’re afraid of what they might bring.  Open the door of opportunity in front of you, even when you have no idea what’s behind it.

Every step and experience is what makes you the person you are now.  Without this experience, you are an empty page, a blank journal, an unsung lyric.  What makes you ALIVE is your willingness to live through today’s challenges and then hold your head up high tomorrow with hope and tenacity.

4.  Appreciating the beauty in all the small things.

Subtract the obvious so you can see the meaningful.

Rediscover the sensitivity of your childhood eyes.  The eyes that saw life as it is – a beautiful compilation of tiny lives, each lived one at a time like snapshots in a family photo album.  That saw beauty in flowers and rainbows and wild animals.  That marveled at fireflies and sunsets and starry nights.  That let you dream every instant with your eyes wide open.

See yourself sitting right where you are, breathing, moving your limbs, and appreciating this chance to experience this moment.  If a child of two can see the beauty in it, why can’t you?  (Read Tuesdays with Morrie.)

5.  Feeling good enough.

Believe in yourself!  Have faith in your abilities!  Without a humble and reasonable confidence in your own abilities you cannot be effective or happy.  Know that you are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough.  Do not derive your sense of self-worth from what you own, who you know, where you live or what you look like.  Your self-worth is a reflection of who YOU are and how YOU choose to live.

Above all, don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  If you somehow feel ‘better’ than someone you’re comparing yourself to, it gives you an unhealthy sense of superiority.  If, on the other hand, you feel ‘worse’ than someone you’re comparing yourself to, you usually discredit all of the important progress you’ve made.  The bottom line is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place.  If you feel called to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.

6.  Consciously detaching and living in the present.

The greatest step towards a life of positivity is objectivity – experiencing something fully and then learning to let go and move onward.  The key is to accept that everything is changing.  Each moment of your life is unlike any other.  To live each one to the fullest, you must learn to be in the moment, fully, and then step out of it.  This is detachment.

Take any emotional feeling – love for a significant other, or grief over a lost family member, or fear and pain from a deadly illness.  If you hold back on your emotions and you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them, you can never get to the point of being detached from them.  In other words, if you spend all your energy being afraid of feeling your true emotions – the vulnerability that love, sincerity and acceptance entails – you will be forever stuck.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to fully embrace them to the point where you’re effectively in over your head, you leave no emotion abandoned or question lingering in your mind.  You know what love is.  You know what grief is.  You know what fear is.  And only when you know these things can you say, “I’m OK.  I have experienced this.  I know what this emotion feels like, and now I need to detach from this emotion and move on with my life.”  (Angel and I cover this in detail in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

7.  Embracing change.

As Oscar Wilde so profoundly said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Living a positive life hinges on your ability to accept the fact that everything is constantly moving forward, away from everything that previously existed.  Not only do you have to emotionally detach from the past, but you also have to willingly thrust yourself forward into the unknown.  You have to open yourself to trying new things, especially those that you may previously never have thought of doing, or had been too hesitant to attempt.  This is how you open doors of opportunity for positive growth.

So many people live within the confines of unhappy situations and yet refuse to take the initiative to change their circumstances.  They are conditioned to believe that the only choice is the current choice because it’s the life they know.  Their comfort zone blinds them from the truth – that nothing is more damaging to the human spirit than a mind that resists progress and change.

All of your personal growth and much of your joy in life will come from your encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater commitment than to embrace an endlessly changing horizon.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What is your number one tip for being happy?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.

culled from www.marcandangel.com

Our 19-week son lived only minutes after birth, but has touched thousands (PHOTOS)

Our 19-week son lived only minutes after birth, but has touched thousands (PHOTOS)

I started the day enjoying a pedicure with the bride to be and very good friend Megan along with her mom Cathy and all of her bridesmaids. We had an enjoyable lunch and ran a few errands and then were headed home to start preparing for the rehearsal. Starting on the Tuesday before I had some mild spotting. It was never anything much and dark brown, a normal pregnancy occurence. I never had any pain at any point. On Friday I noticed that the spotting started to turn a little more pink. When I returned home to gather all of my camera equipment for the rehearsal I decided to call my midwife to see what she thought of the spotting just for my own peace of mind. I knew I was going to be on my feet a lot the next day, probably about 12 hours. She decided it would be best to head to the ER to be checked, again more for my own peace of mind then anything else. I did have a complete placenta previa with Michayla, so we were both a little concerned that it could be a placenta issue again. I called Josh who had just gotten to the park with the girls and he grabbed the girls and headed back to the house.

We left Flora around three and headed to a recommended hospital in Kokomo, which was about 45 minutes away. On the way we called our parents just to give them a heads up. We arrived at the ER and checked in. I could tell that the nurse really wanted me to be over 20 weeks. The policy is that anyone under 20 weeks of pregnancy stays in the ER, otherwise they head straight to OB. I was 19 weeks and 3 days. As we sat in the waiting area there were several pregnant women that came and went because they were over 20 weeks, and there I sat, waiting. We were finally taken back around five and after I changed we found a heartbeat right away. I believe it was in the high 160′s. Hearing the heartbeat immediately put me at ease and I just sat waiting on the doctor to show up. Finally a PA or NP, I can’t remember what she was, showed up and said that the doctor would be back and do a vaginal exam and send me for an ultrasound. Then we sat and waited some more… finally the doctor showed up and said he wasn’t doing a vaginal exam and I would be going to ultrasound, then he left. At this point, it was past 5:30 and Josh had to leave to run the rehearsal since he was officiating the wedding the next day. We were both a little excited that there was going to be an ultrasound and hoping we could find out what we were having. We were scheduled for our 20 week ultrasound when we returned home on Wednesday.

At 6 PM, a new nurse came in and gave me three glasses of water and told me to drink up for the ultrasound and then she left. I put on the tv and started watching 'House Hunters.' I was assuming I wouldn’t be able to finish the 30 minute episode because they would come get me for my ultrasound, but I was very wrong. A few minutes after six I started to feel a few twinges of pain. By the end of the half hour show I knew I was in labor. There was no doubt in my mind, I’ve been through it before.

I couldn’t sit in the bed anymore because the pain was too intense. I called for my nurse and she didn’t come. Ten minutes later I called again and she finally showed up. I was bawling my eyes out at this point because of the pain and all of the emotions streaming though me. I was not mentally prepared to go through labor and everything in me was fighting it every step of the way. I did not want this labor to happen yet. When she finally showed up she didn’t seem to believe that I was in labor and said she’d let the doctor know, then left. I have no idea how long until he came back, but all he said was that he would push the ultrasound up and left. I felt like I was put in the back corner of the ER and left to my own. No help, no sympathy, nothing. I was not able to call my mom because there was no cell reception. I could text Joshua because we are both on iphones and I had a wireless signal, but I didn’t want to worry him because I knew he had to get through the rehearsal.

A little after seven Josh left the church, which was about 20 minutes away. I was taken to ultrasound at around the same time. The ultrasound technician was the first person that I felt actually cared about me and was nice to me. Not that the others were mean, but they didn’t give me any more time than they had to. Right away she found the heartbeat for me, which was encouraging. She wasn’t able to tell me anything else. She was very quick with her ultrasound and when she left to talk to the radiologist, she found another lady to come sit with me. We didn’t talk, but it was comforting to know someone else was there. When I went to the bathroom to clean myself up from the ultrasound there was a lot more blood and I completely fell apart at that point. Joshua arrived just as they were wheeling me back to my room. They had someone waiting for him so that he could be brought to me right away. The ultrasound technician made sure he could find me. When we got back to the ER room I had to use the restroom again and when I went in the technician turned to Josh and said, “I’m sorry, and I don’t want her to see me crying, but I will be praying for you” and she gave him a hug and left. It was about 7:20 when I got back to my room.

At this point there was no break between the contractions. They were so intense and just as one finished another would start. I’ve been through labor and I grew up hearing a lot about it from my mother who helped with home births and is now a L&D nurse. I’ve also been in a few births for my photography, so I knew listening to myself that I was at the end. I wouldn’t give up hope yet, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that I was losing my baby. At some point the PA or whatever she was came in and said “your fetus is still viable.” I seriously wanted to slap her. She was at least a little more sympathetic than the doctor who I never saw again. They told me that they were going to send me upstairs and do a cervical cerclage which did raise my hopes some.

At this point everything started becoming a blur, I was finally taken upstairs to OB around 8 PM. I was in so much pain I couldn’t tell what was going on around me. Anyone that knows me knows how much I hate needles and have a tendency to pass out. It took them three tries and a lot of blood on my arms before they finally got an IV in. I didn’t care one bit. The doctor checked me and then sat down beside me on the bed and told me that we were going to be delivering our baby. This was the first that anyone had called him a baby.

I immediately started bawling and asking if there was any other option. She was so very kind and very upset that the ER had told me they were going to perform a cerclage. In order for a cerclage to be performed you cannot be in active labor, which I was at that point. I was also fully dilated and my water was bulging. There was no other option at this point. She apologized over and over and was so kind as were all of the nurses. I can’t even tell you how many people were in our room and doing things to me, but I was never left alone and always had someone with me. I was offered some pain medicine which I accepted and the pain started to ease some. It was still very strong during contractions but I was able to relax in between. Joshua left the room to deliver the horrible news to my parents and sisters who were all on vacation in the Outer Banks and his parents back in PA. Our friends Kip & Cathy came from the rehearsal to see if we needed anything and to be with us. Then sweet Megan who should have been focusing on her wedding the next day came to check on us. She was there talking and crying with me when my water broke. 

Walter was breech so we were waiting on my water to break on it’s own and let nature progress at its own pace. I don’t remember what time I started pushing, but I was not feeling the contractions anymore after my water broke, so I did have to push several times to get his tiny body out. He was born at 9:42 PM and he was handed up to me as soon as his cord was clamped.

I was crying so hard at this point but he was perfect. He was fully formed and everything was there. I could see his heart beating in his tiny chest. Joshua and I both held him and cried over him and looked over our perfect, tiny son. The nurses and doctor left us to have some private time alone with him. Unfortunately, my IV alarm kept going off so my nurse had to keep coming in to check on that, but she was very gracious and apologetic the entire time. Cathy and my sister-in-law Rachel returned to the hospital to bring the items that I needed and were able to hold Walter. We were so thankful that Rachel was also there for the wedding since she took care of our girls so that Cathy and Megan did not need to worry about having two preschoolers on top of everything else that was going on. Sometime between midnight and 1, I had to be taken to the OR to have a D&C because the placenta would not release on its own. There were two ladies that came to be with me and were with me the entire time so I would never be alone. The first thing they did was pray with me, which was so amazing. The D&C went well and I was soon back in my room and sleeping from the medicines and anesthesia.

I cannot say enough good things about my doctor and the nurses that were there with me. They never once mentioned the word fetus. They prayed with me, cried with me and were there for my every need. Even in a time of so much pain I felt loved by them all. They took such absolute wonderful care of us. They contacted the local funeral home and were going to take care of all of the forms and make all of the calls for us to take him home to PA if we wanted. A gentleman from the funeral home came and talked with us about our options and he was so very kind. In the end we did decide to have him cremated. It was the easiest and best option for us. My doctor made every effort to make sure I had all of my questions answered. She even took the time to talk to my midwife personally and gave me her number in case my mom, an OB nurse, had any questions. She didn’t have to do any of that, and I truly appreciated it. We left the hospital with many books and trinkets to remember our son by. They made sure that the girls each had a few mementos to remember their brother by. Shortly after returning home we had a wonderful card that had notes from all of the nurses and doctor that took care of me during our stay. So while I felt abandoned and alone in the ER, the OB area was amazing. They encouraged us to hold and bond with our son. In fact he left our room while I had the D&C and then was back with us until the funeral home came to take him.

I’m heartbroken by the stories I’ve been hearing from people who weren’t allowed to see their child. That would be so absolutely devastating! I held him, cuddled him, while his heart was beating. I held him to my heart, I counted his toes and kissed his tiny head. I will always cherish those memories that I have of him.

The next morning, Rachel brought our daughters to the hospital. There wasn’t ever any doubt in my mind that I needed to have the girls in to see their brother. Michayla especially has been so excited about the baby and really wanting a brother. She knew something wasn’t right and kept asking Rachel and then her daddy as he brought them to our room about the baby. She kept asking if the baby was ok and if we could take him home. It took Emma a little bit to comprehend what I was telling her when I told her that Jesus took their baby to Heaven with Him, but she did understand as well. She has bounced back pretty quick though, and besides randomly telling people that our baby died, doesn’t talk about it too much. Michayla on the other hand is a completely different story. She was absolutely devastated and cried and cried. She has been asking so many questions and it’s hard for her when we have to tell her that we don’t know. Joshua still went and performed the ceremony. If I had been able to, I would have still done the photos. On top of everything that happened that was also hard for me, not fulfilling a commitment. I know I had no control and in no way are they upset with me, but it still bothers me.

We still do not know why or how this happened. My midwife has talked personally with the OB doctor that treated me in Indiana. We’ll be getting all of the records and reports as they finish up the dictations and receive pathology reports back. It could have been a cervix issue, maybe a result of some of the damage from Emma’s birth. It could be preterm labor or a world of other things and we may never know why or how. There will be extra precautions taken if we can ever get pregnant again. That is another area that is unknown. We went through so much and many trips to the specialist in Frederick to conceive Walter. So much still to think about…

I am so very glad that Joshua went to our vehicle and got my camera. At first I did not want any photos, but they are the only thing I have to look back on now. I’m still in shock at how much his photos have been shared and commented on. In his short life of just a few minutes he has touched more lives then I ever could have imagined. I have gotten messages from people all around the country who have experienced a loss or were just touched by his story. I’ve even had a few people tell me that they were able to use his photos to reach out to a hurting woman who was contemplating an abortion. Just because the child within cannot be seen by us does not mean that he is a blob of cells. Walter was perfectly formed and very active in the womb. If he had just a few short more weeks he would have had a fighting chance at life. I don’t understand why the Lord took him home, but I have to trust in his perfect timing. I may never know why, but it is a comfort to know where he is and that I will see him again. For now, he’s with his heavenly father who loves him unmeasurably more than I, as his earthly mother ever could.

If you would like to see some more of Walter’s photos, please visit my website here.

Please feel free to share our photos. In all our hurt, I am glad that some good can come out of this. I pray that the Lord will continue to use Walter’s photos to impact many.

If anyone would like to contact me directly, you can find me on facebook or email me directly at lexi@f2photographystudio.com

culled from www.lifesitenews.com

Remember your vows......A Must Read

A must read story. It's a long one, but it's worth the while.

I, Sarah Adams take Lawson Kuti as my lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” she smiled at him through her veil.

“You may now kiss your bride Mr. Lawson” The Pastor beckoned.

Lawson’s heart raced as he gently unveiled his bride’s face. She looked so beautiful. He gently bent over and placed a soft kiss on her lip. Sarah in turn embraced him tightly with tears of joy streaming down her face.

“Never leave me Sarah” He whispered in her ear.

“I will never leave you” she whispered and they slowly released themselves from the embrace.

“I present to you the latest couple!” The Pastor exclaimed excitedly

The church cheered and Sarah cried more in her husband’s arms

5 years Later

Sarah silently tip toed behind her husband. He was in his study, engrossed in reading. She smiled to herself and gently covered his eyes with both hands.

“It’s just you and I in this house Sara, plus, I smelled you the moment you walked in” He dropped

Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on the study table, “Why do you figure me out so easily? I can’t even surprise you! That sucks” she curled her arms around his neck

“You are my wife, nothing you do is supposed to surprise me” He playfully pecked her nose.

“But you’ve been in the study all day and I’m bored!” She rolled her eyes

“So what kind of fun do you suggest we have then?” He swooped her off the table in his arms

“No! no that kind of fun!” She hit him playfully till he put her down

“Ok”, He folded his arms on his chest, looking into her eyes, “So what do you want us to do?”

“Not us. Actually, all I want is to play with your play station and you’ve hidden it again! Just give it and you can continue your reading. pleaaaseee” She blinked her eyes playfully

“No way”, He went back toward his study chair and sat, “Not my play station”

“Why! You never let me touch it…like its your baby” She sulked

“Well”, he rolled his eyes, “Not like you’ve given me a baby yet”

Sara paused for a moment. Did he just say that to her? The words struck her deep down

“You shouldn’t have said that Lawson…” She managed to say, her countenance changing.

“But it’s true…I’m only saying the truth Sara” He turned to face her, still sitting on the chair.

“The truth? You think I don’t want us to have kids?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that…” He stood to face her now.

“Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell me, what is the truth?”

“Let’s not do this today…please. You can have the play station and play all you want. It’s in my footwear locker and the key is in my Bible”

“You always do this…hurting me with your words” Her voice began to shake

“Don’t start Sara please”

“Tell me why you said those words to me! I want to know!”

“Because I’m tired! I want to be a father! I want to have my own kids Sara…”

” and you think I don’t?!” Sara flared, trying not to let the tears pour

“Then why can’t you get pregnant Sara? This is the fifth year we are trying.” He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study.

Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair for some seconds, stood up again and saton the chair again…this time she held on to her blouse and burst into tears.

2weeks after

“Lawson, wake up please” Sara tapped him

Lawson gently opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock by his bedside, “It’s 2:00am Sara…”

“It’s urgent”

“I’m listening” He said drowsily

“Mother says we should come for tests. She says she’s spoken to her doctor and he said we should come.”

“What?” Lawson opened his eyes now, “Your mother is the UK for Christs sakes”

“Let’s just do it. We can go for the weekend, lets just give it a shot, please.”

“No. That would be rather expensive and…”

“It’s my birthday today and the only thing I want from you is this trip”

Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two years now, his wife’s birthday skips his mind…totally.

“I’m…I’m sorry Sara…It skipped my mind…”

“It always does” She lay down back on the bed, backing him.

Lawson wrapped his arms around her waist, “I said I’m sorry…”

No response.

Lawson sighed, “Fine, we go this weekend”

“Really?” She turned sharply, excited

“If it will make you happy today”

“Thank you baby” She hugged him.

A week after

Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone in her pocket.

“Hi mom!” she pressed the phone to her ear with her shoulders, wiping the washed dishes with her hands.

“Honey…”

“What is it mom?” she pressed it harder

“The result…the result of the tests…” her mother cried

Sarah gently dropped the plate and the wiper, hear racing…”Just say it mom…”

That night

“I can never have children Lawson…” Sara cried

Lawson felt his world crash right in front of him, “W…what?”

“Mama called today…she’s gotten the tests results”

“Jesus Christ” Lawson stood, placing his palm on his head, “b…but you told m you were ok before we got married, you told me the doctor said your abortion didn’t damage your womb”

“Don’t bring my past into this!” Sara flared

Lawson laughed and got serious almost immediately, “You are crazy. I married a crazy woman!”

Sara looked at him in shock, like he’d lost his mind.

“The results say you can never have children and we bith know that this has to do with the abortion you had before we met!”, he flared, “are you happy?…you know we’re screwed right? No kids? what re we going to tell the world?”

“Lawson we can adopt…” Sara cried

“Adopt? Wow!”, he laughed again, “I married a funny woman too!” He got sserious again, “Its still not our baby! The damn baby is not my flesh and blood! You are full of deceit Sara” He looked into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting his tears.

“Lawson stop…you are hurting me…” Sara fell on her knees crying

“You want to know what I’m thinking?” Lawson looked at her with disgust, “I’m thinking how on earth I’m going to stand seeing your deceitful face for the rest of my life”

“Sra cried harder, “Dont give up Lawson…So far I have a womb…I can still carry our baby…”

“I am not giving up on having my baby, I’m giving up on you” Lawson turned around to leave

“Lawson!” She held his feet, “I’m hurting too…”

He only dragged his feet from her hold and drove out of the house. She wept.

A month Later

“Mother, he’s not even talking to me. All of a sudden we are both strangers…He doesn’t eat my food, comes home late…he hates me so much and its killing me. I’m confused…to think that it’s ,e truly hurting…”

“For how long will you hide this truth from him. You’ve got to let him know…you can’t carry his…”

There was the sound of a car hon

“Mom I’ve got to go…he’s back”

“Baby, you’ve got to let him know. It can work when you two are one in mind”

“Bye mom” she ended the call.

Lawson came into the house, about to walk past her.

“Lawson” She held him

“I’m tired” He didn’t want to look at her face

“I know…can we talk for some minutes?” She tried to help him remove his suit

“Look what is it” He jerked from her

“Do you hate me this much? you can’t even look me in the eye? you can’t even stand my sight? Lawson…it’s me Sara…your best friend…” Her eyes grew moist

“I’m in no mood for this” He turned around to walk away

“Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking to you!” She dragged him by the suit.Just then, some papers fell to the floor. Sara quickly bent to pick them up…her hands shook and her body became numb all over.

“D…divorce papers? Lawson?” She searched his eyes

“Answer me goddammit!” She held him by the collar of his shirt, crying

“They are for you to sign. I want out” Lawson dropped

“Y…you what?” she slowly freed him from her hold

“It’s not going to work Sara, can’t you see?”

“Lawson I can’t believe you would think of a divorce and even go this far…why are you so wicked!” she cried, angry

“No! Why are you so wicked!” He retorted, flaring

“Think about me for once. I am a man for Christs sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!”

“What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I’m going through”

“Its your cross, carry it” Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife

“No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!”

“Isn’t it better Sara that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?” he said with a tone of sarcasm

Sara’s heart thumped, “What?”

“You heard me…another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow”He turned around to leave again

“She still can;t carry your baby” Sara dropped

“Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you.” He scorned

“You are the one who can’t give me a child!” Sara let out, crying.

Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, “Whatever your plan is won’t work”

“I told you I could never have a child because its you who can’t make me pregnant”

“Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!” He shook her shoulders violently

“You are infertile Lawson…the doctor says you have primary infertility…” Sara burst into tears

Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.

“Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thoight of the best way to tell you… never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers…but I thought of you…I thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?”, she smiled through her tears, “all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby…looking in your eyes, I can see you sudenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked”

“Sara…” Lawson fell on his knees, torn.

“No!” She quickly fell on her knees too, “No Lawson…” She couldn’t bear to see him cry

“I’m…I’m infertile”, he cried, “What is left of me?” he searched his wife’s eyes

“Lawson please…” she held his face, “I understand…it has been so hard for me…I have put myself in your shoes since the first day…”

“You don’t deserve this…you deserve better…I can’t believe I scorned you all along…please let me leave you”

“No” she shook her head, “You are my husband. I won’t leave you. I won’t let you leave me…I believe in miracles”

“I’m doomed…Sara I’m doomed…”He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.

In the Morning

Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed…it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.

Sara,

I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I’m torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again…without me…I am truly sorry for disappointing you.

Lawson.

Sara couldn’t control the tears. She couldn’t think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking…

“Hi Mr. Lawson’s office please”

“hI Lola…” she cried, “have you seen my husband today?”

“No…no ma’am, we’ve been expecting him at work. He has a presentation is fifteen minutes”

“Oh God…God…” Sara dipped her hand in her full hair

“Everything ok ma’am?”

“Thank you” she ended the call.

She quickly got down from the bed and in her pajamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove…no answer.

At 2:00pm

She sped into Fred’s compound, a close friend to her husband.

“Fred!” she banged the door hastily till the door flung open

“My God Sara what’s wrong?” Fred held her

“It’s…its Lawson…have you seen him? is he here?”

“No…Haven’t heard from him in a week”

“Oh God” she held her hair

“What’s wrong?”

But she was already walking away into her car.

“Sara!” He called after her.

She zoomed away.

4:30pm

“Mom, Dad, I can’t find Lawson…I can’t find your son…” she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost

“You have to calm down and tell us what happened” Lawson’s mother put her arms around Sara.

Sara burst into tears, “Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he’d pick your call?”

“Have you been to his office?” He picked his cellphone and dialed his son’s number

“I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available”

“It’s ok…calm down please” Lawson’s mother pet her

“He’s not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?” Lawson’s father searched Sara’a eyes

9:00pm

Sara was still in her pajamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson’s parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying; she hadn’t realized the green light.

“Hey get off the freaking road!” a driver cursed from behind her

“God please don’t let him harm himself…keep him safe and lead me to him…please God…” she quickly started the car and began to move.

Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace.

She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked…it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar.

“Lawson!” She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.

“Sara?” He quickly stood as she approached him, “Sara…”

They both ran into each other’s arms. He hugged her so tightly

“I looked for you everywhere….this was the last place I thought you’d ever be…I just came and I saw you…Lawson….I’m so happy you are ok” she touched his face

“I didn’t know where else to go…It just feels like I cant face the world anymore…” he slowly released her from his embrace.

“Take my hand” Sara stretched out her hand, “C’mon, just take it”

Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn’t seen him so weak and helpless.

“Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn’t…that’s why I’m here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, though the bad and good times. We’ve had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said…I want you to believe in a miracle”, she held his face, “remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?…our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won’t be long…”

“Who are you Sara…” Lawson was weak with her words

“The one who vowed to be with you till the end” she smiled through her thin tears

“God I love you so much Sara” He hugged her again

“So will you come back home with me?” Sara searched his eyes

“I have no other place to call home” He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

2 years after

Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement

“Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don’t miss it this time touch touch” she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child

“I can feel him…I can feel him” Lawson placed his head on her belly

“I can feel him growing each day inside of me…”

“What do you think its saying now by this movement?”

“Thank you dada for believing in me” she laughed. They both laughed “The movement has stopped” he slowly removed his head from her stomach, “I think he’s sleeping”

Sara rested on his shoulders again, “In six months you’d be a father, “You finally got your miracle”

Lawson tilted his wife’s face to him, looking into her eyes, “Sara…you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me.”

Sara tickled his nose with hers, “I love you too. Always will”, she smiled, “We missed a whole lot on our movie”

“Movie can wait, but this can’t” He gently planted a kiss on her belly.

Hi Friends,

First, we forget our vows so easily, so quickly that once our marriages start hitting the rocks, we fail to realize that there is power in union. When there is union, every mountain can be subdued. The problem is people don’t yet understand the concept of marriage and trust me, until you do, please don’t go to the alter because what you don’t understand will eventually become a burden and confuse you. The concept of marriage is ‘for better, for worse’. The ‘worse’ moments always come. I am not saying expect bad things but I’m saying that challenges come in marriage to make you stronger in oneness so don’t use it against yourselves.

Second, miracles are real and I hope we all learn to have the patience to have our miracles in the end. Remember that marriage is a ‘stick and stay’ relationship not a ‘hit and run’ thing.

Remember your vows each day, enjoy your marriage, you deserve it.

Remember to share this with your friends.

No Legs, No Arms, And Yet No Worries!

There is ABILITY in disABILITY 2

IT'S TIME TO BREAK THROUGH

It's about 6am here. Really quiet. The kind of quiet where even a still small voice can sound like a scream. I was sitting here thinking about the first time I took a flight on a small private jet. Many of you know that I'm an aviation buff. I love planes and flying. That's crazy, seeing as how my passion for it started out as a way to get over my fears. And my first flight was my scariest.

That morning, when I got to the airport, it was cloudy, raining and cold. I told the pilots that I was a nervous flyer and asked how the weather was. He said, "it’s rough down low but great up high." Now I'm looking at the sky, it didn't look so great up high to me. But I said a prayer and got on. We took off. It was so turbulent. I was bouncing all over the place. I sat there thinking, "why would they tell me the weather was fine?"

After about ten minuets of being bounced around I asked the pilots why it was so rough. They told me that it would get better as soon as they were allowed to climb higher. I asked who was holding us at that altitude and they said Air Traffic Control. There were a lot of planes in the area and for our own safety we had to stay at that altitude. I sat down, bouncing around some more, white knuckled and all, until the flight attendant told me that we had just been cleared to climb higher. I felt the plane pitch up and the thrust of those powerful jet engines kick in. We bounced around some more. It seemed to have gotten worse. Visibility through my window was non-existent. I was about to ask them to land and let me off the plane. But then we broke through the clouds. There was the sun and the air was so smooth that it didn't even feel like we were moving.

By now, I'm sure you're wondering, "why am I reading all this?" Well, I’ll tell you. Flying through rough weather is a lot like making it through life. Sometimes there are a lot of dark clouds, a lot of bad moments. So bad that you want to give up or turn around like I wanted to. Sometimes you can't go higher because something or someone is trying to hold you back or you're being held at that altitude for your own safety. Sometimes you’re not ready to go higher. God is protecting you from yourself because he knows that you can’t handle going higher. Sometimes he’s hiding you, preparing you to be ready. (That gave me a million thoughts. I’ll save that for another email). Sometimes it's so dark you can't see which way to go. But just like air traffic control had to give us permission to go higher, this morning I wanted to give you permission to go higher. Climb!! The weather is so much better up there. The sun is shinning bright up higher. Stop living your life so low.

Now it's not going to be easy to get through those clouds. You’re going to have to hold your head up and use all the strength in your soul to get through, but you will. Use prayer as your fuel and go higher. You have just been given permission to climb higher. Fly above it all.

-Tyler Perry

WE CAN DO BETTER

WE CAN DO BETTER!

A couple of days ago a storm came through here that was crazy. I’ve never seen that much hail and rain. It reminded me of when I was living in my old house. Every time there was a bad storm I had to go through some major things to get the lights back on in the house. One time there was a storm so bad that lightning hit the house and all the power went out. I looked across the street and my neighbor had power, so I knew the problem was just in my house.

Stay with me, I’m going somewhere here…

I knew I had to get to the circuit breaker to fix what was going on. Now, in my old house, the breaker box was in the attic, and in order to get to it I had to climb a ladder, go up a flight of stairs and then climb over an air conditioning unit, all the while trying to not step through the ceiling joist or I would go straight through the sheet rock. And imagine trying to do all of this in the dark. But I had to do it if I wanted lights on in my house.

I got to the breaker box and started turning the breakers back on. For those of you who are not up on your DIY (do it yourself, LOL), the circuit breakers protect the house from further damage by turning themselves off if they get too much power or pull too much power to them.

As I was thinking about this yesterday I started thinking about us as people, as souls... me, you and any other human on this planet. What is common about us all is that we all, at one time or another, will go through or have been through a storm, and sometimes the storms are so bad that they turn off circuit breakers in our lives. We can look at others who have gone through the same storm and they are fine, like my neighbor across the street. They had power, but I was in the dark. Same storm, but it affected me differently. Many people can have the same experience and get over it but it affects each of us differently. Never let someone tell you to just get over it because they did. It’s not that simple.

When circuit breakers shut down in our lives they usually turn off to protect us from trauma, but just because they turn off doesn’t mean that they are supposed to stay off. A lot of times we leave them off because we don’t want to do all that is necessary to reach the breaker box to turn them back on. So what happens? We begin to live a life that is not as bright and fulfilling as it was originally designed to be. You just stay in the dark because it’s easier to not go through what you need to go through for healing. Trust me, I’ve been there, lived there for a while until I realized that I wanted all the lights on in my soul. I had to get these breakers back on.

Why am I saying this to you? Well I know that God designed all of us to live the fullest life that we can, to live in the light, love and joy. It is my hope and prayer today that you will start to do the work to turn on some of the breakers that may have been turned off in your life by difficult moments. What do I mean by that? If you have a dream and you stopped dreaming because it got too hard, that’s a breaker that went off. Turn it back on. If you decided that you wouldn’t love anyone else because you’ve been hurt, that’s a breaker that’s been turned off. Turn it back on. If you have decided to give up on life because nothing seems to go right, that’s a breaker that went off. Turn it back on. If you have given up on your kids because they won’t do the right thing, that’s a breaker that went off. Turn it back on.

You see what I mean? Go through your life and look at all the people who have hurt you. Look at all the situations that have left you in the dark. Turn those breakers back on. Live in a full house. One of my favorite scriptures says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.” Light up your soul!

By Tyler Perry